what is my life

It's funny how a person's life changes so fast. I'm in my senior year of high school and a lot has happened since I was a little seventh grader.

As a seventh grader, my best friend moved away, and many more drifted apart. I discovered social media. (though I've been playing MMOs&been on forums since I was nine) This social media though was for people I actually knew in real life, wow. I was that annoying kid who talked loud about anything and didn't care what people thought. I did my own thing mainly. I enjoyed making videos and sharing them with others. This was true for eighth grade too.

Ninth grade was interesting. It's the first year of real 'high school'. This is the year where I had small classes, so there was a limited amount of people to talk to. I got quite close to these people, though the friendship mostly only lasted that year.

Most of everything is a blur. Me and my terrible memory. Only bits&pieces fill my mind that come to me from time to time at the most random of times. It only gets worse.

A lot of my time was spent on the internet. An introvert who liked their space. I spent a lot of time on a particular forum. I made many friends on there who I enjoyed talking to and laughed with. Online roleplaying was my favorite.

I'm not saying I dressed up and stuff, but instead everything was typed out. It's like writing a story with several other people and it is very enjoyable. That forum closed down about a year ago very suddenly. Many of my online friends were lost as we didn't get the time to share other information with each other to keep in touch. The ones I did get from though, we eventually drifted away more quickly than I liked. I tried roleplaying on other sites, but it wasn't the same or as enjoyable as the forums for it were quite dead.

I don't really remember what my original intent for this blog post was. I guess I just felt like writing something. It's quite the mess.

I remember one of my points being was that I've gained such beautiful friendships over the years that I wouldn't give for the world. Like wow, I really love people. People are cute. Enjoy them. 

To Santa Claus and Little Sisters

Once,
On yellow paper, with green lines, he wrote a poem,
And called it "Chops",
Because that was the name of his dog,
And that’s what it was all about.
And the teacher gave him an "A"
And a gold star,
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door,
And read it to all his aunts.
That was the year his sister was born,
With tiny toenails and no hair,
And Father Tracy took them to the zoo
And let them sing on the bus.
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a Christmas card
Signed with a row of x's.
And his father always tucked him in at night,
And he was always there to do it.

Once,
On white paper, with blue lines, he wrote another poem.
And he called it "Autumn"
Because that was the name of a season,
And that’s what it was all about.
And the teacher gave him an "A"
And told him to write more clearly.
And his mother didn’t hang it on the kitchen door
Because the door
Had just been painted.
That was the year his sister got glasses,
With black frames and thick lenses.
And the kids told him why father and mother
Kissed a lot,
And that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews,
And the girl around the block laughed
When he went to see Santa Claus at Macy’s.
And his father stopped tucking him in bed at night,
And got mad when he cried for him to.

Once,
On paper torn from his notebook, he wrote another poem,
And he called it "Question Marked Innocence",
Because that was the name of his grief
And that’s what it was all about.
And the professor gave him an "A"
And a strange and steady look.
And his mother never hung it on the door
Because he never let her see it.
That year he found his sister necking on the back porch
And his parents never kissed, or even smiled.
And he forgot how the end of the "Apostle’s Creed" went,
And Father Tracy died.
And the girl around the block wore too much make-up
That made him cough when he kissed her,
But he kissed her anyways

Once,
At 3 a.m, he tucked himself in bed,
His father snoring soundly.
He tried another poem, on the back of a pack of matches,
And he called it "absolutely nothing"
Because that’s what it was all about.
And he gave himself an "A"
And a slash on each damn wrist,
And hung it on the bathroom door,
Because he couldn’t reach the kitchen.

-Anonymous (written by a 15-year-old boy two years before he committed suicide)

~National Suicide Prevention Week/September 7-13 2014~

Hatsune Miku - MELT [Live]

Shounen Brave (English Cover)

√Bestamvsofalltime ▪ Delinquent AMV

yes hello this is like my favorite amv of all time

anime: tonari no kabutsu-kun

song: bad behavior - jedward

Spring Anime 2014 Feedback

Some feedback after watching some of this year's spring anime.

Imitator

i don't know why but this song comforts me when im down
--------------